Metamorphosis

            As Crown Prince Lotor of Doom awoke from unsettling dreams one morning, he found himself transformed in his bed into a scrawny, white form with black hair. He closed his eyes again, figuring the dream hadn’t quite ended and he was better off sleeping.

            A few moments passed before a knock was heard upon his chamber door. Lotor cracked one eye open and gasped in shock. He stared in wonder around himself, finally able to see colours other than grey, white and black. The rap upon his chamber door came again more insistent this time.

            “What?!” He snarled.

            “Keith! Come on, get up already!” Lance’s voice came through the door.

            Lotor scowled, looked at the mirror and startled. He shut his eyes and opened them again slowly. He startled at the visage again, rushed to the door and flung the door open. He stopped dead on his tracks upon seeing Lance.

            “What happened?!” He grabbed Lance by the collar and began to shake him. “What in the nine hells happened to me?!”

            The rest of the Voltron Force who had gathered around the door, puzzled as to why their captain had been the last one, for a change, to wake up that morning.

            “Uh, let’s see. You went to bed last night at sunset, like usual, and you didn’t get up at sunrise to milk the cows this morning.” Lance said sarcastically, but looking very concerned at Keith. “Are you feeling alright? Maybe you slept too long.”

            Lotor let go of Lance and thought for a moment. “Keith – er – I milk cows?” He started laughing. “That’s rich!” He strolled back into his room.

            “It was a joke. We don’t have cows on Arus.”

            “What?!” Lotor spun to face him. “No milk?! How am I supposed to survive?!”

            “You can’t drink milk, skipper! You’re lactose intolerant!” Lance stated, matter-of-factly.

            “You know, maybe we should call the doctor. Keith doesn’t look to well.” Pidge noted, voice heavy with concern.

            “Keith?” Allura stepped forward at that point, looking very worried. “Maybe you should call off the training drills this morning. You’re acting kind of funny.” She put her hand on his forehead to check for fever.

            Lotor purred at her. “Yes, rather feverish…” He leaned against her. “Oh, the fever is so feverish…”

            Allura pulled away. “Okay, I’ll call Nanny to check on you.”

            Lotor’s eyes widened. “To the field, men! Practice starts now!” And Lotor ran out.

            “I guess he’s feeling better.” Hunk said. “Except he went the wrong way.”

            Suddenly, Lotor ran back into the room. “I just realised I’m wearing this ridiculous pyjamas.” He shook his head and began to strip.

            “Ahm, Captain?” Lance called.

            “Wussup?” Lotor turned to face him, half naked.

            “Next time close the door.”

            “Don’t look then.” He began to remove the rest of the clothes. “Ahm, you’re right, I have nothing to show.” And he closed the door. There was a brief pause. “What the hell?! Are all these bleeding outfits red jumpers with white stripes?!” He opened the door again completely naked. “Who’s taking me shopping?”

            Allura, blushing, and not looking at Lotor finally said. “Okay Keith. You’re obviously not yourself today. I think you should just stay in bed!”

            “Okay…” Lotor paused. “And sorry about the body, it’s not my fault, this body is nothing to look at. I’ll try and get a better one.” He smirked. “Well, I’m going back to bed. I expect new clothes and food when I wake up.” He eyed Allura casually. “Wanna join me in a nap?”

            “I think he’s finally lost it.” Pidge said.

            “Who bet on Sunday being the day Keith would go bonkers?” Lance asked.

            “I think Sven did.” Hunk said.

            “Damn, he always wins the bets.” Lance said.

            “While you guys are paying out, I think maybe we should send the psychiatrist in.” Allura noted.

            “Send a plastic surgeon while you’re at it too.” Lotor went into his room. “I would say it’s your loss, Allura, but I can’t really say that now, can I?” Lotor pointed to the body that in his opinion was lanky and under developed, and closed the door.

            As Captain Keith Akira awoke from unsettling dreams one morning, he found himself transformed in his bed into a bulky, blue form with white hair. His head was pounding with a ferocity familiar to him from the few parties of Lance’s he had attended. Painfully cracking an eyelid open he was surprised to find that all colour seemed to have disappeared from the spectrum of his vision and he was seeing only shades of black and white. Directly above the bed was a mirror, in which Keith regarded his reflection in disbelief.

            A soft feminine sigh from beside made him start and sit up quickly, only causing his head more pain. Looking around he realised he was lying, quite naked, in the middle of several also naked women.

            “Uh oh.” Keith said, was surprised to hear Lotor’s voice instead of his own.

            He made his way gingerly through the room, finding Lotor’s clothes in each corner of the room. He quietly dressed and departed out of the only door leading from the room that didn’t seem to be locked.

            He stumbled into the room that was buried in several layers of clothes, and other paraphernalia. Sprawled across the bed was Commander Hazar of the Drule Forces.

            Puzzled beyond belief, Keith sat in the middle of the floor, finding the only clear spot in the room, and waited, positive that this would be the safest course of action at this point. Hours later, he heard a groan and Hazar rolled to his side.

            “You’re up early… It’s Sunday.” Hazar yawned with gusto. “I figured you would wake up tomorrow like you usually do after last night.” He paused. “You know, write off the next day.”

            ‘It’s a wonder how they get off their butts to even attack Arus half the time!’ Keith thought to himself. “I couldn’t sleep.” Keith said finally. “I feel weird.”

            “After the amount of alcohol we consumed in the past two days, I’m not surprised. Frankly, I feel just as weird…” Hazar took inventory of his body. “Do you want your bed back now?”

            “My bed? Oh, uh, don’t worry about it. Stay as long as you need.” Keith said. “When I consume that much alcohol, do I normally see things kinda weird?” Keith asked, still trying to get used to the fact that everything was dull and colourless.

            Hazar scowled. “Dude… How much champignon extract did you have?”

            ‘Ah, so Lotor’s on drugs. That explains everything.’ Realisation dawned on Keith. “I’m not sure,” Keith said finally. “I can’t see colour anymore.” Keith said, truly puzzled.

            Hazar rested his chin on his arms. “I think it’s time to bring out the cure to hang over. You’re not doing all that well. You’re coming down really bad.” He said, not understanding what Lotor had meant by not seeing colours. Lotor had never seen colours!

            Keith shook his head, trying to act as if he’d just snapped out of whatever Hazar thought he was in. “Whoa, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” He said quickly, not wishing to find out what a Drule hang-over remedy was like. “I just, um. Oh, never mind. I’m starved.”

            Hazar stared blankly at him and got up slowly. “Here, why don’t you just lie down and sleep it off, man? You’re tripping out like never before…” He reached to help Keith up.

            “Uh,” Keith pulled away slightly. “No, really. I’m alright. I just don’t want to be in here, cooped up in this room.”

            Hazar nodded. “Why don’t you go and exercise a little?” He pointed to the harem. “You’re not doing well at all.” He reached in a drawer and pulled out a bottle. “Here, drink this, you’ll feel better.”

            Keith blushed at Hazar’s idea of exercise, and inspected the sweet smelling psychedelic purple liquid. “What is it?”

             Hazar put his hands on his hips. “That’s it! What the hell is wrong with you, Lot? What did you get into last night?” The Commander looked menacingly at him.

            Keith started, not wishing to fight anyone in a body he was barely used to. “Okay Hazar, here’s the deal. I’m bored of those hags in there. I want to go off and find some different chicks.” Keith said hesitatingly, feeling terribly guilty referring to Lotor’s harem as hags. Keith feigned a bored, look. “Besides, I think we ran out of booze last night.” Keith hazarded a guess from the several empty bottles strewn about the room. “So are you game?”

            Hazar smiled. “Let’s rock and roll.” He paused. “Although I still think you’re tripping out in the worse way.”

            Lance entered his room later on that day to find his already messy room in a worse state of disarray. He entered cautiously and noticed things being flung out of his closet. He moved warily towards it and found Keith, clad on a pair of jeans, tossing out things until he finally found an indigo blue shirt. He turned around to face Lance.

            “What colour is this? I like it.” Lotor said like a child in wonderment.

            “Um, blue.” Lance said hesitantly.

            “So that’s what that shade of grey is!” Lotor put on the shirt.

            “Uh, are you sure you’re feeling okay, Keith?” Lance eyed him carefully. “Maybe you should be lying down.”

            “Are you kidding? I had a great sleep, even if this body is so strange.” Lotor found a baseball cap and put it on backwards. “So, where are we going? I nominate you as my tour guide.” Lotor cocked his head.

            “Okay, that’s it!” Lance pulled Lotor from the closet and pushed him towards the bed.

            Lotor looked very surprised. “That’s not what I meant! Look, I don’t go that way! Maybe you should wait, I’m not who I look like I am, and you should continue this kind of thing when the proper owner of this body returns because I don’t want to know what the two of you do behind the curtains!”

            “Proper owner? What are you talking about?” Lance said.

            “Don’t rape me.” Lotor put his arms over his head, ducking.

            Lance stood in shock. “Keith, I really think it would be a good idea if you just stayed in bed until you’re feeling like your old self again.”

            “Can we just – er – not indulge in this for sometime? I love you! I mean it! I’m just not in the mood.” Lotor pleaded.

            Lance stood, mouth agape. “Whoa! Wait a minute!” Lance backed up a few paces. “Keith. I don’t know where you’re getting the idea that, um, well, whatever you’re talking about.”

            “So we’re not lovers?”

            Lance choked. “Lovers!!?” He immediately looked disturbed.

            Lotor sighed in relief. “Oh, thank you God!” He paused and stood up. “You know,” Lotor said, figuring that he had to play along the role he had been tossed mercilessly into – thanks to the perverted minds of KK60 and AK47 – and composed himself. “You know, I think that robeast that the mighty Prince Lotor sent here last time electrocuted me or something.” Lotor nodded. “Yeah, that’s what happened!”

            “Mighty Prince Lotor? I hope that was just sarcasm.” Lance said. “You usually just refer to him as ol’ fish face junior.”

            “What?!” Lotor dove on top of Lance, who immediately became nervous again, but fought back.

            Lotor continued his display of aggression until Lance punched him across the face, sending him sprawling across the room. The punch made Lotor realise what he had done.

            “Well, that just wasn’t good enough.” Lotor said standing up, cursing the puny body he was stuck with. “We have to come up with better insults.” He walked out of the room. “By the way, you’re confined to the kitchens for hitting a superior officer.” He pocked his head back in the room. “Me!” He smirked and walked away.

            “Pulling rank?!” Lance looked affronted. “Alright then, as commanding officer I’m relieving you of duty as of this moment because of your erratic behaviour. And I’m sure the rest of the team will back me up on this.”

            “Oh, stuff it, you sniffling halfling.” Lotor snapped back. “I’m better than you, slicker than you and the Captain of the Voltron Farce – er – Force.” He paused. “Furthermore, you’re fat!” Lotor pulled on the gap of the jeans. “Gotta work on those tires, Lancelot.”

            Lance tried to grab Lotor who ran off screaming for help. A few moments later, Hunk, Pidge, Allura and Coran had come running to find Lance on top of Keith trying desperately to hold him down.

            “Keith’s totally off his rocker this time – oof!” Lance said, as Lotor scored a particularly good punch in Lance’s ribs.

            “This idiot is beating me senseless after he threw me on the bed trying to do the ooky with me!” Lotor protested. “Get him off me!” He scored another hit on Lance. “This is no way to treat your Captain! I am a Royal Prin- er Captain!”

            “Told ya he was off!” Lance said, clearly in pain.

            Pidge and Allura pulled Lance off Keith while Hunk helped Keith off the floor, but held onto him just in case he tried to run off.

            “Hey, tubby, let go of the material. I’m delicate.” Lotor said flatly. “Idiot boy over there left enough bruises on my pale person already.”

            “Okay, since you’re all here,” Lance began. “I think we should relieve him of duty until he’s back to normal. Agreed?”

            The rest of the team glanced over at Keith who had his arms crossed and was tapping his foot impatiently, looking very annoyed.

            “Agreed.” Came the reply.

            Lotor threw his arms up. “Oh screw you guys!” He glared at Hunk to let him go. “I’m go out and find a good bar with good ale and good wenches!” He looked back at Hunk. “Fatty, let go of me, will ya! I don’t know if you’re contagious or not. I would hate to lose my girlish figure.”

            At that, Hunk gladly escorted Keith, none too gently, back to his room, and tossed him in, locking the door behind.

            Lotor cursed fluently before sitting on the bed dejectedly. ‘Let’s see… I went out yesterday with Hazar, which means today is a write off… Tomorrow, well, I’ll be spending the day trying to convince my stomach not to abandon me. So, Tuesday my father will come in, throw me outta bed, call me an inept and all of that, I’m gonna complain for a while, then shower and all of that stuff. So I should be just about to ready to leave Doom by about two in the afternoon, eight hour trip, get here by three in the afternoon because of the different time zone.’ He sighed. ‘Well, two days. I just gotta act like there’s a pickle stuck somewhere in my anatomy.’

            “Okay, guys, I’m sorry. It was a joke.” He called out pathetically.

            “Okay,” Keith sat staring at the control console, very puzzled, and still very drunk from Lotor’s party the previous evenings. And he was a little sore below the equator, from excessive exercise, and a little disappointed that he didn’t remember any of it. “So the keys go where?”

            Hazar lifted his head lightly. “In the hole.” He dropped his head back again.

            Keith tried the first one he found. “Nope.”

            Hazar stumbled over to him and fell on top of Lotor in a sprawl, belly up; arms and legs dangling over Lotor’s lap. “That one.” And remained as he was.

            At that moment, Keith realised how much fun he could have ruining Lotor’s reputation. He stared at Hazar belly with a devilish grin on his face.

            “Coochy, coochy coo!” Keith said, tickling Hazar’s belly.

            The Commander reacted badly. With a yelp, he jumped up and punched Lotor inadvertently. The two of them fell off the chair and continued wrestling on the floor until they hit another control console and fell away from each other.

            “Hey! That was not nice!” Hazar said casually, still chuckling.

            Keith sat up slowly, resetting his jaw. “Ow. You punched me.”

            “Oops.” Hazar said simply. “Say, where are going anyway?”

            Keith, as drunk as he felt, had surmised that if he was stuck in Lotor’s body, then Lotor was probably stuck in his. “Uh, I have to go to Arus and save the Princess…” he said, then added quickly, noticing Hazar’s odd look, “Uh, to save her from that pesky Captain. I haven’t harassed her in a while anyway.”

            “I understand.”

            If Hazar was going to say something else, he was interrupted by Zarkon who was bellowing for Lotor. Hazar looked up at the loud speakers.

            “Uh oh…” Hazar shrugged. “Daddy wants you.”

            “Daddy? Me? Oh yeah!”

            Hazar and Keith ran back to the throne room where they tripped in and fell into a messy heap. Figuring that it was too much effort to get up again, they just knelt where they landed. Keith following Hazar’s example.

            “Lotor! What did you do to my ship! They towed it in this morning!” Zarkon bellowed.

            It took a moment before the ringing in Keith’s ears finally cleared. ‘No wonder Lotor’s such a grouch.’ He thought to himself, trying desperately to ignore the pounding in his temples. Hazar, seeing Lotor’s hesitance and knowing that Zarkon was getting madder by the second, elbowed him, leaned over and whispered: oops.

            “Oops?!” Keith hissed back. “Your ship?”

            “No, the rental! Yes my ship!” Zarkon screamed. Hazar cringed.

            “Uhm, Zar- Father. I’m so sorry about the ship. Take it out of my allowance.” Keith stammered.

            Hazar turned to face him eyes wide in shock. He turned to Zarkon. “Ahm, Sire, Prince Lotor is not well at the moment. Permission to go and – er – help him get better. Before I faint from shock.” Hazar added the last under his breath.

            “Don’t get smart with me, boy. You deliberately crashed my ship into that asteroid.”

            “Asteroid?” Keith asked in shock. “Ahh… I thought it was just a pebble.” He waved a dismissing hand.

            “Sire, Prince Lotor spends more time crashing ships than flying them.” Cossack added casually.

            “Shut up, toad boy!” Keith snapped.

            Hazar hung his head.

            Zarkon eyed Keith suspiciously.

            Cossack looked insulted.

            Keith smirked. “Say, I know team, er,” Keith coughed. “Father, how about I go and attack Arus today? They won’t be expecting it. And this time, I’ll even capture it for you.”

            Hazar stifled Keith by putting him on headlock and looked up at Zarkon. “Sire, permission to go and do stuff?”

            Keith pushed Hazar off himself. “I’m fine! I’m perfect example of health!” Keith stumbled a little from getting up too quickly. “See, and I’ll prove it to you by capturing Arus and Voltron!”

            Hazar nodded. “Yeah, I’ll tag along to help him…” He caught Zarkon’s unimpressed look. “Ahm, alright, I’ll just cheer him on then.” He sighed. “Okay, okay, we’ll fail miserably, but we’ll be off your skin and you can do stuff.”

            “Lotor, if you think I’m going to let you go off in another one of my ships after what you did, just so you can propose to that Princess, you’re off your rocker!” Zarkon snapped. “I think I’m just going to ground you!”

            “Ground me?!” Keith sounded affronted.

            Zarkon turned bright red in anger. “Yes! Are you deaf and dumb?! Now get out of my face you ungrateful lout!”

            Hazar glanced over to the side at a mirror to see if his hair was blowing with the force of Zarkon’s voice. He grabbed Keith and they ran out of the throne room.

            “Now how am I supposed to get to Arus, now that I’m grounded?” Keith asked dejectedly, pouting.

            Hazar looked strangely at him. “The same way you did all the other times.”

            Keith mentally slapped himself. ‘Lotor, following orders? Now that’s hilarious.’ “Okay. So which ship do we steal this time?”

            Hazar looked inspired. “Let’s take Mourn out!”

            “Mourn?” Keith looked puzzled, never having heard of this ship.

            Hazar smacked him on the side of the head. “Your pet project, buckwheat!”

            “Mourn?” Keith asked again. “Uh, sure. Why not.”

            Hazar ran off and Keith promptly followed him. After a couple of hours they reached a hangar far from the castle. Keith then saw what Mourn was.

            “Whoa!” Keith said, staring at the colossal ship. “She’s huge!”

            “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Hazar waved a dismissing hand. “Must you say that all the time? Come let’s go!”

            Keith followed Hazar onto the ship, trying not to look too surprised at the complexity of it all.

            Lotor sat on the floor staring at the closed door. Finally realising no one was going to let him out, he went to the window and jumped out. Fortunately for him, he landed in the moat and after shaking most of the mud off, he entered the castle again.

            “Look, I’m sorry. It was an accident.” Lotor said quietly. “Can we just get along and be buddies? Listen, Tubby, you’re not fat, and neither are you, Lance. Allura, sorry about saying all those naughty things earlier… My hormones got the best of me. I’m still going through puberty, you know. And I’m really sorry.” Lotor looked pathetically at them.

            Sven, who had just arrived and was counting a large wad of bills, looked suspiciously at Lance. “You know, all bets are final. I’m not giving this back.”

            Lance looked at Keith, concerned. “You’re not going to pull some weird stunt like you did earlier, are you?”

            “So long as you don’t pull me out of the closet and toss me on the bed.” Lotor said simply.

            Lance was very aware of the entire team staring at him suspiciously. Turning bright crimson, Lance glared at Keith. “You’re making it sound really bad! That’s not exactly what happened and you know it!” Lance snapped angrily. “You’re the one who’s acting all weird.”

            Keith looked the very picture of injured innocence.

            “Well, it seems like everything’s back to normal,” Allura finally said. “Keith are you okay to do some patrols later?”

            Lotor scowled. “Why? I never – I mean, the Prince would never attack on a Sunday.”

            “You mean Lotor?” Pidge asked.

            “Who else would I be referring to?” Keith rolled his eyes. “Alright, I’m gonna go and patrol stuff if you want me to. I got nothing else to do anyway.” He shrugged and left.

            “Uh, Keith?” Lance said. “The launch area is the other way, in the control room.”

            “Yeah, I know.” Lotor said casually. “I’m going to the can first.” ‘Oops. Like I’m supposed to know this!’

            “Those would be that way.” Pidge pointed.

            “Are you sure you’re alright? You must have taken an awfully big hit from that last robeast that Lotor sent. Maybe you should just rest instead.” Allura said.

            “It’s all good. You people should stop treating me like I’m mentally ill or something. Maybe I wanna do stuff differently. Just chill out.” Lotor shrugged. “Tell you what, I’ll go do what I have to first, then I’ll board the pussy and then I’ll patrol.” He left.

            “Twenty says that he’s gone all weird because he finally lost his virginity.” Lance said.

            “WHAT?!” Came a cry from down the hall. ‘Well, that certainly explains A LOT about Keith…’ Lotor thought smirking.

            “Nothing!” Sven called back. “Twenty says it’s he’s finally got his first pube.”

            Lotor looked startled and undid his pants looking down. “Not yet!” He called back. “Unless I shaved but I’m not telling!” ‘Because I don’t know.’

            “Twenty says he’s just going through a phase.” Allura said. “I’m sure he’ll be fine in a little while.”

            Lotor was flying Black Lion quite well until he saw a massive silver shape enter Arus. He lost complete control over the ship and crashed quite dramatically in front of the Castle of Lions. He jumped out of the fuselage, quite used to crash landing and flapped his arms in desperation.

            “Pull back! Pull back! You’re gonna hit the mountain!” He screamed as he saw Mourn’s mad entrance. “To the right! To the right!” His eyes widened as the ship clipped the side of the mountain. “Oh my God! That’s my baby you’re ruining! Watch my ship! Why is my ship here anyway! ARRGH!!!!!!!” Lotor screamed. “And why is this happening today?! I should be in bed hung over! It’s not Tuesday!!! Watch the mountain! To the left! To the left!” Lotor groaned as the ship clipped the mountain again. “That’s coming out of your pay cheque!”

            Allura was the first out of the castle when Black Lion crashed. She watched as the alien ship finally lurched violently from the sky and landed heavily in the forest, the sound of tonnes of metal shifting and settling echoing through.

            “NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!” Lotor fainted.

            Keith looked at Hazar, a little shaken from the landing. “Is that better than last time?”

            “Dude, this was your ship.” Hazar strolled casually out before who he believed to be Lotor would have a massive coronary when the realisation sank in.

            “So?” Keith asked.

            ‘The shock must be too much for him.’ Hazar thought to himself.

            By the time Hazar exited the ship, he saw Keith running towards them. Keith grabbed Hazar by the collar and started, futilely, to shake him.

            “What have you done to my baby?! Who said you could take my precious out and joy ride? And crash into mountains and stuff?! Damn you to heck! Vile creature I will smite thee! You broke my baby!”

            Hazar just stared at the human in front of him confused for a moment.

            “You dared touch my ship! You go too far, Haze! That does it!”

            “Wussup?” Hazar asked casually before punching Keith casually across the face.

            Lotor flew off Hazar and landed unconscious further away.

            And that’s when Keith walked out of Mourn. “Watch the face!” Keith ran to where his body had landed and inspected the face carefully. “Aw, that’s going to bruise.”

            “Tell me about it.” Lotor had cracked an eyelid open. “Oy!” He jumped on Keith. “Give that back! It’s mine!” Lotor grabbed Keith, trying to take back his body. “I’m stuck on this puny, pale excuse for a body that can’t even handle milk! Not only that, you touched my baby and crashed it.” Lotor punched him. “Oh dear!” Lotor tended Keith. “Please tell me that didn’t hurt. I’m not very strong you know.” Lotor put his hand over his mouth.

            Keith snorted, and regretfully punched Lotor across the face, knowing fully well that if that was really his body, the glass jaw would knock Lotor unconscious.

            Lotor obliged by falling unconscious.

            “Sorry!” Keith cringed, and dragged Lotor back to Mourn.

            Hazar arched an eyebrow. “Ahm, dude, wrong body.”

            Keith looked around and noticed that Allura had already ran back to the castle. “Uh. That’s okay. We’ll just take this one hostage. Then Allura will come and try to save him and we’ll get her then. Cool?”

            “Sweet.”

            They left Arus, followed by the Lions. At that moment Lotor woke up tied up.

            “Release me immediately, you body snatcher! Just because your body is pitiful, doesn’t mean you can come out and steal mine!” Lotor growled.

            “Uh, Hazar, can you take over for a minute? I gotta deal with our prisoner.” Keith said.

            Hazar lifted his head momentarily. “Yeah, sure.” His head fell back again.

            “Don’t leave that inept to tend to my baby! Untie me at once!”

            “Lotor, do you have an auto pilot on this thing?” Keith asked. “Otherwise I’ll just crash it into the first thing I see.”

            “You dare call my baby a ‘thing’?!” Lotor shook in anger. “Untie me!”

            “Lotor, look!” Keith said, mischievously. “An asteroid! Oh no! I don’t know how to pilot this ship! I’m going straight for it!” Keith said mockingly. “Unless…”

            “It’s right there!” Lotor cried and grumbled something under his breath. “Why did you steal my body? It was happy in its state of inertia.”

            Keith switched on the auto pilot and walked over to Lotor. “Listen, I didn’t steal your body and believe you me, I was quite happy in my own as well. As for your ship, if your pal over there hadn’t mentioned it, I wouldn’t have known about it. Your father grounded us, and I had to get here to get my body back. Now the only thing I can think of is that we go to Hagar and get her to fix us!”

            “Fine!” Lotor snapped. Then he cocked his head and smirked. “By the way, the guys made a killing on bets. They know that you still don’t have any pubes. What’s with that anyway, little man?”

            Keith looked less than amused. “Excuse me? Bets? Pubes? And I’ll have you know that I’m not little!” Keith snapped angrily. “And you better be careful, or I might do something while I’m still in here, like bash this ugly head of your into the bulkhead or something!”

            “I dare you!” Lotor threw his head back against the wall. “Ow!”

            Keith snarled something incoherent. “Oh that’s it buddy, you’re asking for it now!” Keith ran towards the wall at full force, smacking it hard enough to leave blood. “Ouch!” Keith fell back, quite dizzy and in a lot of pain.

            “You miserable little, pathetic, moronic, foolish…” Lotor spurted. “Pooky Head!” He screamed out, frustrated.

            “Then stop abusing my body!” Keith snapped, then paused. “You didn’t do anything to Allura did you?” Keith looked very upset.

            “I only stripped in front of her.” He cocked his head. “She looked very disappointed.”

            “Why you little…!” Keith spat.

            “I’ve always been telling you this.” Lotor said, matter-of-factly.

            Keith, losing all sense of reason, dove on top of Lotor, and began strangling him. “What else did you do? Come on to Lance or something?”

            “Actually, he tried to do me!” Lotor sounded shocked and hurt. “I told him that doing the ooky with another guy is just not right.” He looked suspiciously at Keith, turning blue from the choke hold he was in. “You’re not like that, are you?” He asked seriously.

            Keith let go. “Of course not! Why the heck was Lance coming on to you, er, me? What did you do?”

            “I was getting dressed!” Lotor protested. “He yanked me out of the closed, tossed me on the bed and tried to ravish me. And if that wasn’t enough, when I screamed for help, he punched me and it hurt so I cried.”

            “Just like you to be a pathetic wimp.” Keith said.

            “When in a pathetic body, act pathetic.” Lotor stated distractedly.

            “I’m not pathetic Lotor. If anything, you are! Drugs and alcohol? It’s a wonder you’re ever sober enough to launch your comedy of an attack on Arus half the time!”

            Lotor looked, to Keith’s surprised, very stern. “Do you think I could ever risk hurting Allura in one of those ridiculous raids I have to stage to please my father?” He asked flatly.

            Keith was taken aback by the sincerity of the statement. “I didn’t realize.” Was all that Keith managed to say.

            “There’s much you don’t realise.” Lotor snapped, realising that he had been truthful, for the first time, with Keith.

            “Well, sorry.” Keith said, sounding sheepish. “Look, if I untie you, you promise you won’t do anything stupid?”

            “And risk hurting that rather handsome body you’re in? No way, José!”

            Keith rolled his eyes and untied Lotor. “Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it?”

            Lotor shrugged and took over the command of the ship. “You wrecked my creation.” Lotor sounded pained and disappointed.

            “I told you, I didn’t know.” Keith said defensively. “I’m sorry. But I had to get to Arus fast, and it’s not like I know where your father keeps the spare keys to the other ships! And by the way, what the heck did you do to his ship anyway? He’s not too pleased about getting it towed in this morning.”

            “Well, at least it was found. I thought I had lost it for sure this time.” Lotor looked at Hazar who was quite out of it and shook his head.

            “So how are we going to explain this to Hagar anyway?” Keith asked.

            Lotor shrugged, feeling numb.

            Keith sighed. “And when we do get fixed up, you’ve gotta promise me that you’ll let me go.”

            Again, Keith received a shrug.

            They reached Doom, whereupon Lotor marched out of Mourn followed by Keith to the surprise of all the guards. They reached the laboratory where Lotor smacked Hagar across the head.

            “Very funny, old witch. I want my body back! Jump to it!” Lotor snarled.

            For his trouble, Hagar, having nothing to do with the recent mix up, zapped Lotor.

            “OW!” Lotor cried out and looked at Keith who had just walked in. “She zapped me! Beat her up!”

            Keith cringed and stared at Hagar who was very confused at what was going on.

            “Hagar, don’t zap him anymore, okay?” Keith said.

            Lotor groaned and rolled his eyes. “You forgot to say ‘please’.” He said mockingly.

            “Shut up!” Keith snapped. “Hagar, you’ve got to change us back.”

            “Huh?” Hagar blinked at them.

            “Look. I’m Keith, that’s Lotor.” Keith tried to explain.

            Lotor stood behind Keith, whirling his finger beside his ear.

            Judging by the look on Hagar’s face, she was agreeing with who she thought was Keith.

            Keith turned around and glared at Lotor, who looked quite innocently at him, whistling a merry tune. “Lotor, you’re not helping! Do you want to be stuck in my body forever?!”

            Lotor shuddered involuntarily.

            “Then say something instead of acting like an idiot!” Keith snapped. “And no cracks about that either!”

            Lotor smirked, and looked at Hagar. “Tell you what, old hag, change our personalities and we’ll leave you alone. You don’t do it, I’m gonna barbecue your cat after I demolish your lab. Do you understand?”

            “Lotor?” Hagar stared at Keith’s body, puzzled. “But I didn’t do this. And I’m not sure how to change you back.”

            “Well, figure something out!” Keith said, annoyed, and sat heavily, arms crossed.

            Lotor sat beside him and pulled out a deck of cards. “We’re waiting, crone.” He dealt the cards out.

            Hagar shrugged her shoulders and began rattling off a spell that she thought might work.

            After the smoke cleared, and after Keith and Lotor stopped choking, it was obvious that the spell, although quite potent, did not have it’s intended result.

            “Try again.” Lotor snarled, the whiskers on his cat face twitching, his tail wagging showing his discontent.

            Keith agreed while scratching his floppy ears that had decided to itch at that inopportune moment.

            Lotor rolled his eyes at the dog beside him and hissed involuntarily, his tail puffing out. He jumped up on a ledge and began to take a bath.

            Another cloud of smoke, and coughing. Hagar panicked when she didn’t see them anywhere for a moment. A loud buzzing in her ears revealed a mosquito and a hornet, which stung her; obviously Lotor.

            Hagar cried out and began to make a new concoction. Typically… Explosion, smoke and coughing. The two victims became mice, looked flatly at each other and startled upon hearing a meow behind them.

            “Eek!” Lotor squeaked and ran for dear life, followed by Keith.

            “Oh dear!” Hagar hesitated, taking in the sight, before turning back to her cauldron.

            Another explosion, smoke and coughing later…

            Lotor and Keith looked at each other, both being Keith.

            “Try again!” Lotor snapped.

            Explosion, smoke, coughing.

            Two Lotor stood there.

            “I don’t think so.” Keith said annoyed.

            “Cool, I’m outta here.” He looked over his shoulder. “Fix him up. He’s gotta go.”

            Keith grabbed him. “You’re not going anywhere till this is fixed.”

            Lotor was about to protest when they heard a bell and everything was back to normal.

            “About time.” Lotor looked at his watch. “That was some bizarre episode.” He walked out to punch out.

            Keith shook himself off and followed. “You know, we oughta sack those writers.” He said, annoyed. (“Hey!” said AK-47, looking very affronted. “Wussup?” KK60 asked, sprawled casually on a chair.)

            Lotor reached the punch clock and punched out. “Amen.” He paused. “To the bar then?”

            “After this! I really need a beer.” Keith said, punching out and followed Lotor to the parking lot.

            (“Hey, wait up! You think writing is easy? I’m parched too!” AK-47 drops the pen and follows. “It’s back to the Vortex of the Underground for me.” KK60 disappears in a mist with the laptop. – Pens! How primitive!)

To be continued….

By KK60 and AK47